A kiss to build a dream on
by arkkadygnomewarr
Summary: The Sole Survivor fights the inner turmoil her feelings for Nick Valentine cause her. Author's note: I do not own any characters exept for this particular version of the Sole Survivor, nor the world it takes place on, etc. Also, the erotic parts don't appear inmediately, but a bit further down the story.
1. Chapter 1

Sitting in her over 200-year-old kitchen, Rose tried to relax for the thousandth time, but to no avail. It was very late, and she was tired, but her brain didn't give her a break. It had been over two months since she woke up to find herself a widow, stuck in a time that wasn't hers, and her child, kidnapped. And, after two whole months of effort, she was only halfway through. Thanks to the help of innumerable incredible people, she had made an enormous progress, but still her son was still missing and her heart couldn't find peace for a second.

Outside, the rest of the population of Sanctuary Hills, the small settlement she had helped found on the ruins of her old neighborhood, lived peacefully. It had been weeks since the last raider attack, and Preston Garvey had arranged a complex series of security measures. Two settlers guarded the entry of the town, while Preston overlooked the whole place from a sniper's nest, built for the ocation. Everybody was safe and calm. Exept for Rose. Playing with the bottlecap of a newly opened Nuka Cola, she thought about the beautiful life she had worked for, only to find it destroyed in a second, with the blast of the nuclear bombs. Behind her, on a sidetable near the window, the radio, tuned to Diamond City Radio, played "Way back home" by Bob Crosby and the Bobcats. Indeed, nothing was as it was before, and very few things had any positive impact on her mood at this point. Sure, seeing the world slowly reconstructing itself was indeed a cause for hope, but this wasteland was nothing but the shadow of her old life.

Dogmeat barked in the night, probably responding to some other dogs in the distance. Maybe raider attack dogs... or even mutant hounds. Rose distractedly caressed the stock of her 10mm pistol, the one Nick had jokingly baptized as the Housewife's Best Friend v.2. It was terrifying how fast one grew accustomed to the constant dangers of the Commonwealth, but she knew it was for the best. In the past two months she had done many things she'd never imagined she would ever have to. But at this point, with her gun hanging from her belt, she felt prepared for anything.

At least she did while traveling. On the field, moving, constantly needing to look over her shoulder to see if there was not a supermutant suicider coming at her, she didn't have much time to think about Nate. But as soon as the door to their old house closed behind her, as soon as the radio played those songs they used to dance together... Everything seemed much darker. Much more colorless. They had spent years building a future that never came to be, interrupted forever first by the nuclear bombings, and ultimately by Kellog's bullet. But Kellog was dead now, and Rose knew what had to be done. The memories Doctor Amari had helped her dig out of his brain had pointed to the Glowing Sea, and nothing was left to do but prepare for the monstrous amounts of radiation she knew she would encounter. In her garage, right next to the kitchen door, an unpainted suit of X-01 power armor awaited; in her bedroom, a radiation suit was carefully folded and several bottles of Rad-X and RadAway packs had been prepared. And there was also Nick Valentine.

As a synth, he was inmune to radiation, and that made him a great companion for the Glowing Sea, but that was not the only reason she had. After finding him in Vault 114, kidnapped by the most cliché group of gangsters Rose had ever seen, he had offered his help in the search for Shaun and so far, complied greatly. The man was a cliché himself: private detective, tragic past, trenchcoat, fedora, .44 revolver and a anachronic, almost comical accent. But he was a wonderous hacker, a great shooter and a born gentleman, making him not only a very efficient sidekick, but great company in general. Hadn't it been for him, Rose knew she wouldn't have been able to get as far as she had.

Reflectively drinking a sip of her Nuka Cola, Rose stared out of the window and into the darkness. Travis, Diamond City Radio's host, kept telling news about good deeds across the Commonwealth, several of wich she had been involved in. Even with the pressing matter of her lost son, Rose couldn't say no to anyone who asked for help, and that had made her quest much longer and slower than she would have wanted to. But she wasn't sure she regretted it. After all, if she could do something to help people in need and didn't, what kind of example would she be for Shaun?

The knock on the door violently brought her back to reality, and she was already holding the Housewife's Best Friend when Nick's rough, nasal voice came through the wood.

-You awake there, boss?

Rose sighed in relief and put the Housewife back into its holster. Once again, she had left her nerves command her, and she worried that the Commonwealth was changing her. She hoped she could stop that. She turned to the door, but forced herself to remain seated.

-Yeah, Nick. Come in!

Valentine opened the door and closed it behind him after walking in. He greeted her with a joyless grin and touched his hat, as he walked towards the seat next to her.

-Mind if I sit? -he asked tiredly.

-Sure -she followed him with her look. He looked as bad as she felt-. What's bothering you?

Slowly, the synth put off his cigarette on the ashtray atop the counter they were leaning on. His body language revealed he was just as stressed as Rose, and she was not surprised. Just a few days earlier, Nick had finally got rid of what he called his last connection with the "original Nick", the pre-war man whose memories, personality and name he possessed. Together, they had tracked down an Eddie Winters, with whom Valentine had pending accounts, and Nick had killed him, hoping that by solving the "original Nick"'s matters he would find peace. But the sudden realization of his nemesis dead had created new, more existential issues.

-More like what isn't -Nick's eyes wandered through the room, not staying for too long on anything. A last puff of smoke left his mouth as he spoke-. You ever finished a real good book, just to wonder "what the hell do I do now"? It's... terrifying, after all this years, to look at the future and really, have no clue what's left to do. Don't misunderstand it, it's really a relief not to have to mourn a woman that's been dead for two hundred years... A woman I didn't even know myself. It's just... So many blank pages. So much time ahead. What do I do now?

Rose nodded, as she frowned and put her hand on his shoulder to confort him. She knew the feeling, the blank pages ahead and not knowing what to write on them anymore. She did have one last string to hold on to, finding Shaun and hopefully living a half normal life with her child. He didn't have that anymore. He had already reached his goal, and now he was left with all the time in the world and no ideas on how to spend it. She tried to sound less pessimistic thatn she was actually feeling, however.

-Well, I think you know as well as I do what's next- Rose smiled a half smile, and got up before finishing her sentence-. There's always another case to close. Don't you say that to me all the time? Now let me get you something to drink. Beer, or something stronger?

-Beer will do, thanks- Nick smiled a bit. However, his eyes still wondered absently his surroundings. With every word, his tone became more and more hopeless -. It's not that simple though. Unless I find something big, something to keep myself busy long enough to start living again, I might just blow the lid of my processor, for all that matters. It's... Not like anyone would miss a defective synth, huh? Old McDonough would even be happy about it, probably.

Rose opened her (pretty useless) fridge and took a Gwinnett stout. She knew that wasn't true, after all, Nick had saved McDonough's daughter years ago. But, more importantly, she knew not only a lot of people would miss him, but she would too. She frowned and used with him the same tone she had so many times used with Nate.

-Oh, that's a lie and you know it. Everyone in Diamond City respects you. In Goodneighbor too. Curie says you are a scientific marvel. Codsworth admires you, even if he doesn't say it often. And I care for you. I don't want you to think you are not important or that I would care any more about you if you were who you call the "original Nick"-she put the beer in front of him, on the counter, and touched his hand briefly, looking at him straight in the eye- you are, out of all the people in the Commonwealth, the one that has helped me the most, and I will never forget that. For me, there's no other Nick than you.

The synth blinked, looking at her in apparent surprise, and his lips slowly formed the first genuine smile she had seen from him in weeks. His head tilted slightly left and spoke in a trembling, soft voice while lowering his eyes.

-Rose, that's...- he seemed to swallow, trying to find words, and Rose briefly noticed how brightly his pupils glowed- That's very kind of you to say. Thank you, I... I apreciate it coming from you.

-Whenever, Nick- Rose smiled, looking back at the bottle, and popped the cap with her wedding ring. His smile had made her feel like maybe, just maybe, things were going to be fine- I'm here, yeah?

-Yeah...-Nick reached out for the bottle, and his hand (claw?) brushed against hers for a moment- I must say I'm really glad you found me in that Vault. Not only because, you know, I'd be dead otherwise- he chugged half the bottle, and put it back in the counter-, but because I met you.

Rose looked at Nick, surprised, and felt the blood rush to her cheeks. Quickly, she turned away to hide her face from the synth, who took the beer again and started to drink, and answered in the calmest tone she could manage. For some reason, her heart had started to beat faster than usual.

-I'm... glad too, Nick -trying not to look at him so he could not see her blush, Rose grabbed her Nuka Cola and took a long swig of it, leaning on the counter with her back turned at the detective. In the radio, "A kiss to build a dream on" started to play, and she heard the sound of Nick's bottle being put down again.

-Hey, uh... Maybe it's the beer gone up to my head, but...- the rustle of fabric behind her revealed Nick had got up from his seat- would you like to, you know... Dance?

The suddenness of the proposal made Rose turn around to look at the synth in disbelief, forgetting for a moment about everyting else. Grasping her Nuka Cola so hard her nuckles turned pale, and blushing more than before, she wondered what had just got into him, but also into her. Like a schoolgirl she found herself nervously nodding, and her heart beat madly in response to the smile Nick ansewered with. He slowly took a few hesitant steps towards her, around the kitchen counter, and the metal claw that was his right hand reached out for the bottle she still held. Rose held her breath, asking herself what the hell was wrong with her, as he slowly put her bottle down, and carefully wrapped her waist with his hands.

Feeling the beat of her heart in her ears, Rose put her hands near Nick's shoulders, and followed the synth's lead. "What is this I'm feeling?" she asked herself. More than butterflies, she felt like a nestful of radroaches was crawling in her stomach. Nick's touch on her body burnt, and he would't stop looking at her straight in the eye, until she felt unable to hold his stare. Rose leaned her head on his shoulder, and inhaled a scent of old books, unburnt tobacco and rust. As they quietly swayed around the room, the detective's left hand abandoned her waist to caress her hair, tied into a loose bun- a bun that under his fingers unrolled and released her long, wavy, black hair over her shoulders. -Oh, goodness- her mind mumbled, and her hands gripped shakily on his trenchcoat-. How can I really just have noticed how much this man maddens me...?

Slowly, Nick pulled Rose apart just enough to be able to look at her face, and stared deep into her eyes for several seconds. Sweetly, more sweetly than she ever imagined was posible, he whispered her name:

-Rose...

The song had ended, but none of them really cared. Rose's hands clenched into nervous fists when he leaned towards her. His rough lips pressed against her cheek, almost touching the edge of her mouth, and she couldn't stop a soft moan from leaving her throat. He moved his face until their noses touched, and his hand gently moved to caress her neck.

But before the synth could kiss her again, she flinched, noticing what she was doing. Had she forgotten, in her hormone fueled delirium, about the man whose love had been enough for her for five years of marriage? The man whose frozen corpse lied deep in Vault 111, as a testimony of her previous life destroyed? A cold invisible hand clenched her throat while the horrible realization reached her, and her eyes opened in horror. Nate was dead, Shaun was missing, and there she was, in the arms of the first man who proved chivalrous enough to hold the door for her, about to kiss the detective who had offered to help her find her son.

Disgusted with herself, Rose pushed Nick away, but as soon as his hands let her go she regretted it. He looked at her, confused and hurt. She could see the shame in his eyes, probably as much as she felt about her own actions, and it broke her heart. She took a step back, an then another and another until her back bumped against the kitchen counter, as her eyes flooded with tears of confusion.

-Oh, shit, Nick, I'm so sorry-she covered her mouth with both her hands, and shook her head. Tears started rolling down her cheeks- I'm so, so sorry...!

Worriedly, Nick rushed towards her, but he didn't seem to dare to touch her. The yellow glow of his eyes seemed distorted through the tears, but she could have sworn she had never seen so much regret in his face.

-Rose, please don't say that. It's... It was my fault, 'mkay?- he struggled to find words for a moment, and his hand reached out to touch her arm, only to stop mid-air - I... I jumped into the pool without checking if there was water in it... Just... Forget all of this ever happened.

Nick lowered his eyes, looking defeated, and Rose madly wished she could stop all that from ever happening. But she was as confused as he was heartbroken.

-Nick, please, I just-

-No, please. Don't say anything else. Let's just...-he looked at her, looking for words, opened his mouth and closed it again when he couldn't find them. Then, he sighed- Everything is alright between us, yeah? But forget I ever... did... what I did. I will do the same. But nothing changes between us, alright?

-I... -Rose looked at the synth and lowered her eyes. She lifted her glasses and wiped away the tears, but they just kept rolling- I guess that's fine... Nothing happened here.

Desperately but hopelessly, Rose tried to find something to say, but nothing occured to her as Nick nodded, with that heartbreaking defeated look in his eyes, turned around and left the house.

She wanted to crawl back into his arms and kiss him, but she also wanted to just wake up of this apocalyptic nightmare, to find out she still was a housewife in october, 2077, that her husband was right next to her in bed instead of dead in a cryogenic pod, and her son was quietly sleeping in the other room instead of kidnapped, and that that mechanical Humprey Bogart was just a dream she was already starting to forget.

Without any strenght left, Rose walked slowly to her bedroom, leaving the bottles in the counter. She didn't feel like fixing anything right now. Without even bothering to take off her boots she let herself fall on the bed, and sobbed as quietly as she could as she curled into a ball and wished to wake up. Right before she fell asleep, many hours later and out of tears already, she wondered what was Nick doing.

In her living room, the radio cried "It's the end of the world".


	2. Chapter 2

As she slowly awoke, Rose noticed a variety of slight aches all over her body. Apparently, she had fallen asleep on one of her arms, and it had lost all sensitivity. Also, her feet felt swollen inside the shoes she had forgot to take off the night before, and her eyeglasses were painfully embedded into her nose. Her head felt heavy and when she managed to sit up, her vision went black for a few seconds. She didn't remember having drunk the past night, but it would have explained her hangover-like sympthoms. What would have...?

Oh- she thought, as the bitter memories of the previous night came back to her-, right. The whole ordeal with Nick.

That did explain it. She used to have those non-alcoholic hangovers back in the day. When she had been crying, or really, really pissed off. With a deep breath, Rose got up from the bed while opening and closing her numb hand. With hesitant steps she made her way to the desk in the corner of her room, and replaced her eyeglasses with a pair of shades.

Maybe a cup of tea would help, she was a firm believer that tea was always the answer. At least she had been back in 2077, when her life was not a mess and her family was not dead or lost. Pressing her index and middle fingers againts her temples, Rose walked slowly to the kitchen, picked a can of purified water and, after opening it, she emptied it in a kettle. She felt a tight knot in her chest, and as soon as she put the kettle on the fire, she turned to look at the only pristine object she had found upon returning to Sanctuary. On a shelf behind the kitchen table, an old but well preserved photo showed her and Nate on the day of their wedding. Playing with the gold band in her left ring finger, Rose remembered how happy she had been that day, how scared she had been for the entire time he was in Anchorage. How much the idea of losing him had terrified her. And now he was gone... Actually gone. Dead. His loss still burned her heart after two months, but the night before... She hadn't cared about him while Nick held her. Did that mean she was forgetting him? Was Nate going to become just another washed up memory from the past, like pretty much everything in this destroyed world? -Thank goodness Codsworth didn't see what happened last night- she thought-, he would have lost all respect towards me. And my poor Shaun is still gone...-

The water in the kettle started to boil. Rose carefully grabbed it and filled an old mug that once was green, and now was more like a light yellow with little greenish streaks. As she reached for a tea bag from one of the many boxes she had recently salvaged from Super Duper Mart, the sound of footsteps aproached. Her face turned to the doorway to see Preston Garvey knocking on the frame of the open door.

-Good morning, General- His voice held his usual formal tone, but his expression was friendly-. I have the guards report from last night. Nothing out of the ordinary, once again. Mind if I come in for a second?

-Preston, hey- she had feared for a second it was Nick coming, and her heartbeat slowly returned to normal when she saw the Minuteman-. I'm glad to hear that. Would you like a cup of tea?

-Thanks, General, but I must decline- he responded, smiling. He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and waved it in front of him-. I got you a list of settlements that could use some help, and they are right in your way to the Glowing Sea. Also...- his tone became less official- I came to see if you were alright. I know everything has been pretty heavy on you lately, and, well, I worry about you.

Sighing, Rose put the teabag in the steaming mug. She had felt so alone at first, when she first emerged to the Commonwealth, and it really conforted her when someone showed they cared about her. She carried her mug, a spoon and an old tin canister filled with sugar to the table and sat down, smiling slightly.

-Well, it hasn't been my best night- she said soflty-, but I'll recover. Thanks for checking on me, Preston. I guess I didn't really notice I needed it.

-Well, you might be the General of the Minutemen- Preston smiled again and sat in the chair across from her, leaving his laser musket againts the wall behind him-, but you are still my friend.

Rose slowly nodded, absently staring at the deep dark red swirls of tea in her mug. Then, emerging suddently of her thoughts, she spoke.

-Preston, am I a bad person?

-What..?-his smile faded instantly, and he looked at her worriedly- Are you... Of course not! Why would you say that?

-Well I... Listen, a lot of shit has been going on, Preston- Rose made an effort to keep her face straight and her voice firm, but ultimately broke down as she went on- And I need to know if... would start to forget what I left behind be a bad thing...? Would start to forget Nate make me a bad person...?

A spark of understanding crossed Preston's visage and he leaned back on his chair.

-Oh, I see were you're going- reflexively, he nibbled on his right thumb nail-. I don't think you should torture yourself over that. You can't hang on to it forever, sooner or later you'd have to let yourself start living again- he put his hands on the table and got up as he spoke-. Love comes in short supply this days, Rose. If you find someone who can heal your wounds, you better not let them go. Now, General, if you'll excuse me- Preston fixed his hat and swiftly picked up his musket- I should get back to work. If you need anything else, I will be in the sniper's nest.

After a short military salute, Preston left the house holding his musket close to his chest, as he always did, and left Rose alone, thinking. Maybe, just maybe, she could consider... But this was not the time. She shook her head. Anyway, her friend's words had lightened her heart a little. Rose wondered for a second if he knew something about what had happened, but discarted the idea, while pouring sugar in her tea. There was too much to do, and all of this was just theoretical talk until she did something about it. Not wanting to delay her departure much longer, Rose got up and walked towards her bedroom with the mug full of tea in her hand. The radiationproof suit was folded already, so she only had to stuff it in her shoulderbag. When she picked one of the Rad-X bottles from the desk, however, she noticed she could barely read the label, wich reminded her she was not wearing sunglasses, not the ones she needed to see. She sighed, took these off and squinted around searching for them, but as she put her cup down on the desk, the sound of a small object hitting the floor made her look down. Blindly, she kneeled and reached out for the source of the noise, but even without her glasses she noticed it was a holotape, bright orange and with the words "we are done" scribbled on it. She didn't even need to put it in her Pip-Boy, she knew what was in it already. It was adressed to Boston Police detective Nick Valentine, and it contained the words of his captain, telling him to seek psychological help after his fiancé was murdered. Rose frowned, and slowly got up to put it on the surface of the desk. Perhaps in her own spiral of self loathing she had forgot that she wasn't the only one with a dead loved one. If what had happened modified her relationship with the synth... wel, she really didn't want that.

Rose picked her mug and drank a sip of tea, an sighed. At least one thing hadn't really changed that much. Calmer now, she noticed her glasses were still sitting on the desk, right where she had left them. She put them on, and the fog around her dispersed. It was time to get to work.

It hadn't taken her that long to get everything in place. It didn't really matter that the shoulderbag was heavy with ammunition, spare weapons and first aid supplies: it would be the power armor that did most of the work carrying it. Rose zipped her Brotherhood of Steel uniform (with the Minutemen logo painted over the BOS one) and decided to face the first hardship of the day, besides wich the whole Glowing Sea thing seemed pretty harmless: talking to Nick.

She walked out of the front door, looking around her for a sign of Nick's presence, but nothing gave her a clue, so she just started walking. From the cul-de-sac one had a pretty nice view of the river, so she decided to start looking there. However, upon arrival, the rustle of paper guided her to the backyard of one of the intact houses. Some of the patio furniture was still standing, and Nick was sitting in a rusty green chair, reading a cheap-looking book. When he heard her appear, he looked up without a word.

-Hey, uh...-Rose started, but the speech she had planned had disappeared from her mind- You wanna get going?

He kept staring at her for a couple of seconds, and she feared he didn't want to travel with her anymore, but then closed the book and put it in some inner pocket in his trenchcoat.

-Sure -his voice sounded somehow more enthusiastic than she had expected. He got up and patted the dust away from the back of his pants- I started to fear you'd leave me rustin' here forever. I'd rather rust on the road. Lead the way.

As they walked back to the House of the Future, Rose heard herself say:

-Y-yeah! I'm glad you still want to come -she said, but regretted it inmediately. "None of this happened", that was the deal. However, he didn't seem to mind.

-With you? I wouldn't miss it for the world- Nick smiled and looked at her for a second- It's nice havin' someone watching my back out there.

They were now standing in front of the house. In the driveway, the X-01 suit awaited. To its feet, the full shoulderbag and Rose's modified combat shotgun, the Ass Kicker, rested. She turned to look at the synth.

-Let's go, Nick.


	3. Chapter 3

Nick put yet another cigarette between his lips and lit it. As it consumed, he stared silently out of the window of the House of the Future. Several hours had passed since Rose's departure, and he was worried sick. Would something have happened to her? How was she supposed to come back? She had teleported to the Institute, but he didn't know what to expect. Would she teleport back? Walk? Would she return at all? Had she even arrived safely? So many things could have gone wrong, his head hadn't stopped going over them all day. Sturges was a gifted mechanic, but Nick cared about Rose too much to trust him like that. She was too impatient to listen to the synth's complaints, and she had just brushed them off. That had been around around 8 AM, almost 10 hours ago.

Nick slowly got up, and walked to the door. It was raining, and it had been all day. Some people walked up and down the street, with their heads down and their hands in their pockets. He wondered if any of them was worried at all. After all, Rose had founded Sanctuary, along with plenty of other settlements around the Commonwealth. Did they realise the danger she was in?

The synth leant against the doorframe, wishing he could have gone with her, but Rose had made herself very clear about that. He knew going with her to the Institute would have been suicidal, being a discarded obsolete synth and all, but he felt terrible knowing she could be in danger. Even knowing she didn't feel the same way about him, he loved her, and wanted her to be alright. But sometimes she was so eager to jump into dangerous situations for the sake of protecting people, it was annoying. Brave, admirable, but annoying. It was understandable, now more than ever, being that the next step to find her son was going to the Institute, but still...

A sudden static noise interrupted his thoughts. It was very faint, almost imposible to hear trough the rain, but it was there. He looked at Dogmeat, sleeping under the kitchen table, but he was still sound asleep. He didn't hear it. Nick inmediately noticed, as his vision turned slightly fuzzy on the edges, that something was interfering directly with him, with his auditory and visual sensors. He frowned, alert, and stared out the door, looking for the source of the interference. The air was heavy, static electricity was building up in some point between the House of the Future and the one across the street, where Sturges seemed to have noticed something as well. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second, as they both realised what was about to happen. Was it...?

But before the synth could finish the question, a lightning struck right in the middle of the street. The sound was ear-splitting, and several people screamed. Behind Nick, Dogmeat woke up so violently he knocked over a chair. Nick took a step back, instinctively protecting his eyes.

-What the...?-he started, but as the blinding light faded, he saw a figure standing where the lightning had struck. It was Rose, dazed, and as soon as he muttered her name she fell to her knees. The impact made her glasses slide to the asphalt, and the rain quickly started to drench her jumpsuit- Rose!- he repeated louder, and ran towards her. The cigarette fell from his mouth as he aproached her.

Her face showed no expression apart from shock, and tears ran down her cheeks along with the raindrops. When he got next to her, Nick, worried, took his trenchcoat off and covered her with it. He kneeled besides her and carefully stroked her face with the back of his hand.

-Rose, talk to me -he said-. Are you hurt? What happened?

-My... My Shaun...- she muttered. She looked up to him, and the synth saw more pain in her eyes than he could have thought possible. Her voice sounded weak and shaky- He's not my little boy anymore...

-What...? - whatever she was trying to say, it was not good. Terrified, but knowing she needed support now more than ever, he pulled himself together and talked in the firmest voice he could- We need to get you out of this rain... I'll take you home, come here...

The synth picked Rose's glasses from the ground and helped on her feet. A small crowd had gathered around them without him noticing, but they weren't enough to block the path. A rattling noise of metal and the hissing of a propulsor let him know Codsworth was near as they made their way to the house. He heard him nervously call Rose as he drew near.

-Mum! Mum, are you alright?- his pupils frantically dilated and contracted, his three arms wildly swinging around him. If anyone was as worried as Nick about Rose, it was him.

-General! What happened? -Preston walked towards them, but the detective cut him off before he could get any closer.

-Not now, Preston -with his arm around Rose's shoulder, Nick worriedly guided her back to her home. Codsworth followed him closely, and Dogmeat whimpered while walking around them. The woman let him take her to the couch, and sat down slowly while trying to recover her composure. Nick sat next to her and put her glasses on the coffee table in front of her, while patting her shoulder, awkwardly trying to confort her. He wished he could hug her, hold her close to him, but after what had happened weeks ago, he feared making her unconfortable.

After breathing deeply for several minutes, and managing to normalise her voice a bit, Rose started talking. Codsworth had located next to the fireplace, in front of Rose, and Dogmeat had lain down on the floor next to her.

Even though she kept her voice steady, tears kept rolling down her cheeks as she spoke, and with every word, Nick wanted to hug her more and more. It was horrifying. She explained how she had arrived at the Institute to find a room with a boy in it. The kid was the living image of Nate, and she had known inmediately this was Shaun, but after trying to talk to him, the child panicked. While she was trying to calm him down, a scientist walked into the room and said a couple of words, and the boy's arms and head had gone limp, while he just stood there, silent, apparently unconcious. When Rose, horrified, turned to the scientist, he had introduced himself as the real Shaun.

-He told me it had been much longer since Nate was killed... Sixty years instead of ten- the woman dried her tears with the sleeve of her jumpsuit, but more kept coming. Nobody said a word, shock had frozen both Nick and Codsworth in their places. The synth covered his mouth with his hand, feeling sick. She continued-.I really didn't know what to think. In the end I believed him, I mean... I've believed a lot of strange shit since I woke up here, didn't I...? He said the Institute needed, uh, "pure humans", people whose DNA hadn't been corrupted by radiation, and that was the reason they had taken him... W-when I told him Kellog had killed his father... He just said it had been "colateral damage", just like that- her expression changed from pain to anger for a moment, and she furiously punctuated the quotation marks in the air with her index and middle fingers- He showed me the place, and fuck it was impressive. He -she sniffled- has become the director of the Institute, and since it was his DNA they used to build all the Generation 3 synths, most people around would just call him "father". He told me to take a look, and I did. Every scientst there seemed to think I was there to stay... They were so pleased to have me there. They are so convinced their way was the only way... That it isn't important to replace people on the surface, and then kill everyone who had had any contact with them, as long as it helps them "save the world"- after this set of quotation marks she crossed her arms and sighed- I told him I would think about it and teleported here. And now...-her voice started shaking again- I just... What am I going to do...?-with the last word her voice broke and she started crying again, covering her face with her hands.

Silence descended upon the room, broken only by the rain, Codsworth's propulsor and Rose's irregular breathing. For a couple of minutes nothing moved in the room. The first to recover was Codsworth, more out of panic than anything else.

-I, uh... I'll get you a cup of tea, mum- his voice, high pitched and shaky, betrayed his attempts to appear calm- You should change into something dry, otherwise you might catch a cold, and we wouldn't want that, would we...?

Nick was petrified. This meant a number of terrible things: the Institute now presented a dilemma, and he feared Rose would decide to side with them in order to be close to her son. Otherwise, she would never recover her lost child, and lose all hope for a half normal life with him. He silently prayed Rose would make the right choice, but it broke his heart to know that would mean she lost her son forever. Not knowing what else to do, Nick awkwardly placed his hand in the woman's shoulder, still coverered by his trenchcoat. Her body was shaking, but after he touched her she seemed to relax slightly. To the synth's surprise, she curled up against him and kept crying, her face buried in his chest. For a second he guiltily enjoyed her touch, but after a couple of seconds he drowned the feeling and gently wrapped his arms around her. Whatever he felt, he said to himself, would have to wait.

It was late at night, and the empty hallways of Vault 111 returned Rose's footsteps as a disturbing echo. Behind the metal walls, she could hear the main generator, loudly crackling in a room nearby. Her feet walked down the same path she had taken to leave the Vault for the first time, and soon, a cold wave of air greeted her as she entered the room where the cryogenic pods were. In each of them, the frozen corpse of one of her old neighbors sat silently, with their head hanging over their chest. One of the pods was open, the last one on the row of the left. The one she had occupied, right in front of the one in wich her husband rested. Pulling her dirty leather jacket closed, Rose walked towards the penultimate pod on the right.

-Hey, honey- she said sofly, and her voice reverberated on the vault's metal walls. She put her forehead against the cold crystal, closing her eyes.

Of all the possible things that could have happened, this was the one she felt less prepared for. Their beloved son had been raised to become a self-righteous monster, and the mere though of it made her throat clench like a fist. The baby she and Nate had fed, loved, sang to, was now that cold scientist, devoid of compassion and capable of anything in order to keep his plan going.

-I... I don't think Shaun's coming home- she said to her husband- I though... when you died... that was the worst thing that could ever happen. But now I feel even... emptier. Shaun became something... terrifying. He's doing what he thinks it's right, but...- her voice broke as she spoke, and she nervously started to play with her wedding band- It's not, is it?

Rose looked up and put her hand on the glass. Nate seemed so calm... Once more, her eyes teared up. Now there really was nothing left of her life. No more hope, no possible good outcome. No way her family would be reunited except in death. Was there anything left to live for?

A whimper fought to leave her throat, but she cover her mouth with her hand and breathed deeply. The hand she layed in the glass clenched into a fist, as Rose bit her lower lip and struggled to keep her composure.

-He told me that if... if I stayed, I I joined the Institute, we would be a family again- her breath was still irregular and shaky from having cried all afternoon, but the initial shock had given way to a calm sadness- but I really feel that he... doesn't really care. Yeah, I suppose he thinks it would be nice to have me by his side, but... It felt like he wasn't really that worried about it. He said your death was "collateral damage". If I don't join him, will he get rid of me and call me collateral damage too?

Silence was the only response, a silence punctuated by the crackling of the reactor in the distance and the low buzzing of machinery. Rose looked at her husband and sighed, while taking a step back.

-I'm so sorry, love -she muttered with trembling voice. Strands of black hair fell over her face as she lowered her head- I'm so sorry I couldn't bring him back. I'm so sorry.

Her glasses shimmered when she looked up, holding back the tears. With a last look to the cryogenic pod, the woman turned around and slowly walked out of the Vault.

After a whole day of rain, the air was fresh and clean. Above her, the stars shone, devastatingly beautiful. The lift finished its way to the surface with a deep sound of metal, and as Rose lowered her eyes from the night sky, her gaze met a pair of glowing eyes. A few meters away, smoking a cigarette, Nick was standing, aparently waiting for her. The sight of him there soothed her nerves for moment, and a grateful tear slid down her cheek, but she quicly wiped it off and smiled at him. When she started walking towards him, the synth threw the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. He seemed surprised when she hugged him, but didn't hesitate to return the embrace.

-Thank you, Nick- Rose whispered near the synth's ear. His arms made her feel much less alone- Thank you for being here.

He didn't answer, and just held her tighly. The cold fist that clenched her heart seemed to loosen up a bit, and Rose though briefly she never wanted that moment to end.

After a minute or two, or maybe an hour, she took a step back and looked at Nick. He smiled back at her for a few seconds, and his smile gave her just the spark of hope she needed. The synth pointed to the closeby lights of Sanctuary with his chin, and looked at her. Rose nodded, and, smiling silently, the both of them made their way back.


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting in one of the dusty sofas of the Third Rail with her legs crossed, Rose cleaned her glasses with the last clean bit of her T-shirt. The bar was noisy even though it wasn't very full, and Magnolia's voice filled all the gaps left between the conversations and the jingle of the glasses. The gunshot wound in her right arm stung under the bandages, and her hand was shaky and weak. Two weeks had passed since she visited the institute, and she had spent most of her time traveling between the different settlements she had started across the Commonwealth, helping them build stronger defenses in an effort to keep herself busy. It had worked, and even though she was insanely tired, she had been able to keep her mind cool enough to think without panicking. Now more than ever, she was grateful to her friends and allies, as they had supported her through these rough weeks. Piper, Preston, Codsworth and Nick had really made her feel there was still something worth fighting for.

As she fixed the bandage in her arm, Nick Valentine walked back to her from the bar. He was holding two bottles of beer, and put one in the table in front of her before sitting besides her.

-You look like you've seen a deathclaw hiding under the floorboards-he said as he popped his bottle open-. Where's your mind at?

-Huh? Oh,-she looked up, slowly processing his words. Then, she smiled- hey. I was just...

-Thinking, I know- he took a short swig of his beer and continued-, every time you're lost in thought you scare the life out of me, staring at something right behind me all startled- he comically lifted his eyebrows and looked at some point over her shoulder with wide, horrified eyes.

Rose chuckled and grabbed the bottle he'd brought her. Sitting back in the couch, she started absently passing it from one hand to the other, and sighed.

-Sorry about that. I've really been thinking, though...-she muttered- about the Institute, you know?

From the corner of her eye, Rose saw Nick paralize, the bottle suspended mid-air in front of his lips. A couple of silent seconds followed as he lowered it.

-...Yeah?

-Yep -she whispered, taking a long breath and putting her feet up up, wrapping her arms around her knees-, and I came to a conclussion. The Institute has to go.

Rose spun her unopened beer with her hand, placing it before her eyes, absently. She continued.

-They are only trying to do the right thing. Shaun's trying, -she said, struggling to keep her voice from breaking- but so am I. And the kind of world they are trying to create, well...

She sighed.

-I don't think I want to live in a world like that- Rose lowered the bottle, and stared at the smudgy wall behind the stage.-, based on denying rights to their own sentient creations, and trampling the progress the people in the Commonwealth has made on their own -she frowned, her anger briefly surfacing- At this point, I am no longer a mother. I am the General of the Minutemen... and as such, I must protect the people of the Commonwealth until my dying breath.

When she looked at Nick, the relief in his face made smile. As she watched him carefully pick his words, Rose's brain stopped pounding , and she felt grateful towards him for it. She hadn't thought about him as a private detective in months, deeply needed of his emotional support, and the word "friend" grew less and less appropriate to describe her feelings every second.

His lips curled in a half smile, and as he started to speak, his hand settled on her injured arm, ever so softly.

-I knew you'd make the right choice- his vague smile faded-. I'm really sorry the circumstances have become so extreme.

-Yeah...-Rose closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with her free hand. The magnitude of her mission suddently shrouded her, and she sighed- Dammit, Nick. This is gonna be hard, and dangerous. Really fucking dangerous.

-It is. But if there's someone who can do it -the synth's hand soflty trailed down to her wrist, and she felt the blood rushing to her cheeks-, that's you, doll.

Suddently flustered, Rose looked down to escape Nick's gaze, her heart pounding so hard she feared he would hear it. It had been months since she'd felt that way, so astounded by every little detail, the glow of Nick's eyes, his pleasant smell of tobacco and rust... However, this time, she felt something else, something new: hope. Nothing stopped her now. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance?

She looked up. The synth was still smiling at her, looking at her with that same expression he had back in Sanctuary. Rose wet her lips, her cheeks burning.

-Nick, there's something else I want to talk about- she managed to mumble. His smile waned slightly as he nodded, encouraging her to speak. Rose swallowed and continued. -Listen, what happened back in Sanctuary... -the detective opened his mouth to say something, probably yet another apology, but she stopped him with a gesture of her hand. - I was so confused, Nick, everything was so strange... My family was gone, the world was nothing like I remembered. I was scared, terrified. I hoped it was all a bad dream, I prayed for it. Even though every morning I woke up to find the world just as devastated as I left it, I kept hoping. But it wasn't the good kind of hope, it was just that desperate, painful desire one keeps deep inside, even knowing that the truth is different. When you kissed me I felt so guilty, because if I had feelings for you, I would be accepting that my world was gone. -she stopped and breathed deeply. Nick's hand rested on her wrist, and his eyes were fixed on hers, his eyebrows slightly lifted, his lips barely parted.

Rose slowly lowered her feet to the ground, and put the still unopened bottle on the table. Her heart was still pounding, but all doubt had faded. She turned to the synth and covered his hand with hers.

-But this is my reality now. There's no use in hoping everything will return to normal, that's not gonna happen. I have to rebuild my life as I've been trying to rebuild the world if I want to ever be happy again. So, Nick, I don't know if you still feel that way but hear me. -she swallowed- I'm in love with you.

There, she'd said it. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, and her hands were shaking. Or was that Nick's hand? She slowly interlocked her fingers with his, and confirmed her impression. His hands were shaking. Rose looked up to the synth, to find him astounded. After a couple of seconds, he outlined a cautious smile and exhaled a ligh puff of steam. He released his hand from her grip and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him until his lips almost grazed hers. Rose felt the blood rush to her face again, overwhelmed by his scent and the warmth of his embrace. His metal hand felt so cold against her flushed cheek, she couldn't hold back a soft moan.

-Oh, doll...-he muttered, the steam of his breath fogging her glasses. -I've been in love with you ever since I met you. No ammount of time is gonna change that.

He leaned to press his lips against hers, and the world dissapeared around them. Rose returned his embrace with shaky arms, feeling the maddening roughness of his mouth on hers. She bit his lip, and he playfully nipped back at her. Then, he grabbed a fistful of her hair and gently pulled it, as he kissed hungrily in response to the moan she let out. Their tongues brushed, and Rose's heart melted when she heard Nick groan softly. She didn't know for how long that sweet, deep kiss lasted, but as they finally separated, she barely noticed the bar was emptier.

Breathing fast and shallow, feeling the arousal burn her, Rose whispered, leaning into Nick's ear:

-Do you want to come back to the hotel with me?


End file.
